Listen to the people around you and you will hear all kinds of promises: “I’m going to lose weight; I’m opening my own business; I’m going to run the Comrades next year.”

The chances are that many of these intentions never become reality; they forever remain broken promises filed with unfulfilled dreams somewhere in the subconscious mind.

Whether you make it to others or to yourself, a promise means you have committed yourself to do or give something.  Instead of finding reasons to justify your lack of commitment, pause to consider that unfulfilled promises – big and small – create a tension which saps energy like a black hole.  Not honouring a commitment or a promise can harm you or whoever experiences the broken promise.

Maria Nemeth, a clinical psychologist and author of books such as The Energy Of Money and Mastering Life’s Energies has said that “incomplete business in your life draws energy because you have to exert force to keep suspended in an unfinished state.”

When we make a promise, we set up an energy imbalance.  We create a tension between the intention (promise made) and its fulfillment (promise kept).

When you put your word out before you, you create a gap that can only be closed when you do what you said you would do.  Paradoxically, we spend more energy maintaining the gap opened by the promise, than we would in fulfilling the promise and closing the gap.

In our personal lives broken promises often refer to things that are close to our hearts, such as spending more time with the kids, reading more, clearing an overfull email inbox, taking care of household “fix-it” jobs, etc.

In a work situation, keeping promises relate to meeting targets and deadlines, carrying out your functions to the best of your abilities, etc.

Research by Gay Hendricks and Kate Ludeman shows that paying attention to details and keeping promises, even small ones, is something that successful people do intuitively.  They take themselves seriously and keep promises in all areas of their lives.  They energy is fully productive.

It takes skill and wisdom to handle any form of energy in a powerful way.  We are conduits of creative energy, but  just as cholesterol-choked arteries impede blood flow to vital organs of the body, resulting in less than optimal physical performance, unfulfilled expectations and broken promises block the flow of energy vital to the successful fulfillment of our goals.

How to keep promises

…to yourself

• Identify who you are and what you really want.
• Ensure the promise you’re about to make is meaningful and congruent with your bigger picture.
• Write down your promise.
• Give yourself a realistic time-frame; extend the deadline if necessary and recommit.
• Revisit your promise regularly to monitor progress.
• Reward yourself appropriately each time you keep a promise.
• Allow yourself to change your mind without losing integrity.

…to others

• Make promises that you freely want to make, not that you are coerced into making.
• Be aware of your motives when making a promise; do something because you want to, not because you demand recognition or expect the person to reciprocate.
• Explain what your promise entails so that no false expectations are created.
• Agree on a realistic time-frame.
• Keep the person/s up to date with your progress.
• Ensure the other party knows when you’ve kept your promise and, if appropriate, celebrate it together.